i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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