My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
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They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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