I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
