its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
