Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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