there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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