Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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