they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
