careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Only a mothe r could love this liver
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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