Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
