I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
