Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
