I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
