whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
