Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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