I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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