He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
