this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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