The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
