That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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