Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
