ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
