Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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