I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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