I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize