just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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