ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
