I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
