You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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