I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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