Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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