it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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