The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
