I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
