Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
