If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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