so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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