YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
