its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
