I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
