Can Purell be used as lube?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
