Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
