You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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