wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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