hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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