My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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