So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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