Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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