so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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