he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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