Don't make out with my wife yet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
