we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
