After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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