I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
