we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
