just come out here and I will go home with you...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Green mimosas i think yes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
