it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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