I want to stick my p in your. b.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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