Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
