Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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