just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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