your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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