Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
